


Jarvis wishes his brothers remains unaware of sex (he totally blames Tony)

by LucanaelDelSayan



Series: Tony's kids [4]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bots Feels, Gen, Parent Tony Stark, Tony Stark Feels, Tony and his Bots - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7590262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucanaelDelSayan/pseuds/LucanaelDelSayan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disney Chanel is great !</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jarvis wishes his brothers remains unaware of sex (he totally blames Tony)

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Jarvis aurait préféré que ses frères restent innocents (tout est la faute de Tony)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7590217) by [LucanaelDelSayan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucanaelDelSayan/pseuds/LucanaelDelSayan). 



> Note 1: Idea that came to me after reading Tales of the Bots (archiveofourown.org/series/18990) by scifigrl47. Absolutely beautiful, go read it!  
> Note 2: As in the previous fanfic, imagine who you want with Tony.  
> Note 3: Many thanks to BiancaAparo for betaing my English.

Tony was in high spirits. He had just finished creating a portable energy shield able to withstand at least five Mjöllnir's hits before exploding outward, thereby injuring the opponent and giving the wielder an opportunity to escape. He was a genius! And he was going to demonstrate his genius to the Avengers, who would be forced to acknowledge, once again, he was the best!

(And with a little luck, forget that he blew the test room four times, including a memorable explosion which had propelled Mjöllnir through two other buildings before crashing in the conference room wall of a third, right next to the head of the director of a large company. Tony could not remember the man's name, just the fact that Steve and Pepper had forced him to apologize to him in person and also to promise, in the future, to conduct such tests in locations other than an urban area. A promise that he intended to keep, just so he wouldn't have to apologize again.)

In short, he was in an excellent mood as he led the team into his laboratory. But the spectacle offered when he opened the doors greatly differed from the presentation of his new creation he'd bragged to the Avengers for the last two weeks.

Clint perfectly summed up the situation: "I don't know if you're aware Stark, but your robots are replaying Sleeping Beauty."

And indeed, You and Butterfingers were each armed with a paintball gun, a blue one for You while Butterfingers has a pink one. They were each in turn casting a paint's layer on whiteboard.

"I thought you hated whiteboards, Tony. If I remember correctly, you qualified them of relics of the past that were no longer used or only just to satisfy the sadistic impulses of teachers refusing to give way to new generations," imputed Bruce.

"Pepper's idea, when I told her I wanted Dummy, Butterfingers and You learn to write." Tony replied mechanically, still puzzled by its robots' behavior. "Speaking of which, where are Dummy and the other whiteboard?"

"There," said Natasha tersely, tilting her head towards a cleared space on their left.

Dummy was indeed there, busy snatching sheets coming from a printer then nailing them on the second whiteboard.

"Hm ... Okay ... Jarvis ...?" Rule # 1 when Tony's robots become procedural: Ask Jarvis what happen.

"It's your fault sir! Absolutely and totally your fault! You are the one to blame! I refuse to deal, once again, with the aftermath of your impulsive and disastrous actions! It's time that you realize you can't do anything you want without consequences! "

A decade of exasperation and frustration caused by its creator showed in Jarvis' voice. After several minutes of Jarvis recalling all the times when Tony had acted irresponsibly (and they were more than a few), Tony was finally able to cut in.

"Okay, okay! I am a completely irresponsible adult and I am grateful to you ... ... and everything you're doing to make my life easier. But I cannot fix my stupid actions if I don't know what I did."

After a pause, Jarvis gave a sigh and explained.

For the first time in the robots' life, Tony had had sex in his lab. To prevent the three robots to intervene (as they thought their creator was under attack) Jarvis had had to explain what sex was. This led to a discussion of the reproduction of human beings. Which gave Dummy the desire to be a big brother again. So, now, You and Butterfingers were arguing about the gender of a possible addition to the family (This made Tony reflect that installing them a TV set connected to the Disney channel was perhaps not a good idea.)

Meanwhile, Dummy was trying to choose a name, at this point his list includes, among others things, Curiosity, Clever, Carousel, Carmine, Coffee, Cocktail, C-3PO, Clarity, Cute, Calm, Chang'e 3, Charm, Charivari, Chaos, Clock, Californium... (In the background of Tony's mind ran the question: Why the obsession with the letter "C"?)

Jarvis let the humans hear his weariness. Especially as he explained how Dummy had apparently taught his brothers how to ignore a direct order from Jarvis.

Tony withstood this flood of information with a gaping mouth for a long time before recovering.

"Ga ... Ge ... What? ... But I don't want to be a father! I will not be father! Never! This is a totally absurd hypothesis! Unimaginable! "

In a concert of distress squeaks, the three robots abandoned their tasks and rushed to their creator, to make him change his mind.

The Avengers ran away laughing, leaving Tony to fend for himself.

End


End file.
